Self Explanatory – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l38blGqVeHc&NR=1&feature=fvwp
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how
long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?’
The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’
‘Thank you,’ the blonde says – and hangs up.
PREGNANT TURKEY STORY
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister is my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey.
She then placed the bird’s back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing.
When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and
pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, “Patricia, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!”
At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep, SHE’S BLONDE!
THE BLONDE PAINTER…
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off to work she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by
painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replied that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said . . .
You’ll love this . .
“FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS”
I went into my proctologist’s office for my first rectal exam.
His new blond nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said
that he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down, while waiting, I
observed that there were three items on a stand.
Next to the exam table:
A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer .
When the doctor finally came in I said, “Look Doc, I’m a little confused. This is my first exam, I know what the K-Y is for and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the
He flung the door open and yelled to his new nurse .. . . . . .
Darn it Evelyn !!! I said a BUTT LIGHT ”