MARY’S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP:

DEAR DIARY – DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship — all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets.
Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this
“all-girls” trip.

DEAR DIARY – DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY – DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain
invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a
wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

DEAR DIARY – DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY – DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar,
stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship.                         I was shocked.

DEAR DIARY – DAY 6
Today I saved 1600 lives.

Twice.