Hallmark writers are having a bad day

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day……..
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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it…        She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years  That we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder…
“What the hell was I thinking?”

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.
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How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
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I‘ve always wanted to have Someone to hold, Someone to love.
After having met you ..       I’ve changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.
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Happy  Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )

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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
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When we were together,   You always said you’d die for m
Now that we’ve broken up,  I think it’s time you kept your promise.

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We  have been friends for a very long time .. let’s say we stop?
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I‘m so miserable without you          it’s almost like you’re here. =====================================================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do       Something special for your birthday.
So we’re having you put to sleep.

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So your daughter’s a hooker,      And it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side, it’s really good pa